October 12, 2014
I may
have a match. Already. I was in the database for one week before I got the call. It’s a six-person chain with my kidney ending up at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester,
Minnesota. I could say that I haven’t
journaled about it yet because it’s all sinking in. The truth is, though, I just suck at
journaling.
Two days after the phone call, I received a package from
Minnesota with the vials in it for my blood.
At 7 am tomorrow, I will go back to my Mayo here in Arizona, fill those
up, and then I’ll wait some more. I’m hoping
this is it. No more waiting. I had a dream last week that they would
schedule my surgery on November 12th. That’s one month from today, so I don’t see
that as a possibility. But regardless,
it’s definitely coming up soon. This is
huge. What I am getting out of this is
so amazing. It’s indescribable. I am trying to keep my brain busy on what I have going on in the present. Yes, I will be donating an organ very soon. But...
In the meantime there is work.
In the meantime, there’s my daughter.
There’s Halloween.
There’s laundry.
There are books.
But the whole time , in the back of my mind now, is donating
a kidney.
I’m not sure I believe I have a” purpose”, but I do believe
that I am doing the right thing right now.
My body is a prime candidate for donation, and I am so beyond happy to
do it. And for whoever gets my kidney, I
hope it works out for him or her. And if
they inherit any of my quirks or habits, I hope they get my joygasms and not my
nail-biting.
November 18, 2014
The waiting has been killing me. I think that once this is all done, I will appreciate
the waiting. It makes me more patient,
more mindful. But it also distances me
from the situation. I’m no longer at
Mayo twice a week. It’s been
almost two months since my last
test. It’s almost becoming less real. Or at least
it was…
Mira called today.
My recipient has been found. The
other donors and recipients in my chain are done testing. They are talking about scheduling the
surgeries as soon as December first.
That’s two weeks away, and I really hope that’s when it happens.
It’s surreal. I’m so
happy. I’m a little terrified, but I’m
more happy.
I hope things start to move quickly again.
I hope everything goes well.
I hope my recipient can understand on some level, how much I
am getting out of this.
I hope my family doesn’t worry too much about me.
I hope I get books and ice cream in the hospital.
I hope the new kidney works for my match.
I hope he/she gets books and ice cream, too.
November 19, 2014
Twelve
days.
If everything goes as planned, the surgery will happen in
twelve days. My mother is freaking out. I can't really tell how Gren is, but I think he's okay. My friends are all planning on bringing me
food and babysitting me for the first week home from the hospital. I’m
not sure how I’m feeling. But it is
soon, and I am thankful for that.
Mira called me back
today to go over one more blood test this Monday and also to help me apply for
financial assistance. She said it’s
definitely looking like December first.
I am excited but kind of scared, like being strapped to a rocket ship
for the first time except not nearly as much pressure is on me to know what to
do. I just show up and get knocked the fuck out and then I wake up a few hours later. I’m the lazy man’s type of hero, I guess, and I'm okay with that.
God, twelve days…
I don’t think I’ll have a goodbye party or anything, but I will spend a
good amount of time with my kidney.
One-on-one. Just to bid it
farewell and to say thank you for everything it’s done for these past 31 years
in my body. And also to say I’m sorry for all
the times I didn’t appreciate it. There is no doubt that it will be appreciated in its new home.
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