awakenings

I forgot I had a blog for awhile.  I journaled like hell when I was going through my kidney donation.  I think eventually I will share the entries online.  But not right now.  I need to process all of that, and it's hard when all of this other shit is going on.  I'm not sure if the kidney donation was a nice distraction for the problems in my head or if it was a catalyst for big change.  Either way, long story short, I am moving into my own apartment next month.  Gren has his own place.  I hate that I'm hurting him.  I hate that I can't just be happy being stable.  I hate that my decisions affect so many people.  But I don't want to pretend things are okay if they're not.  And change is always good.  It just doesn't always feel like it...