on my way there

So far today, I've spoken to a homeless person about Sean Murphy comics, I walked by what seemed to be an unsettling amount of dried blood on the sidewalk, and an older Mexican woman told me I looked "fresh".  This was all on my 15-minute walk to the grocery store.  Oh, Hollywood. 

Sometimes I catch myself feeling frustrated that I haven't explored more of this city by now. But I started my job this week (just as I ran out of money), and once I get in the groove of working and saving again, I will be able to afford more adventures around town.

Working is making me feel more like a local, even though deep down I still feel like I'm on vacation. I don't know if that will ever go away. I get stopped by people on the street all the time for directions or opinions about places in the city. Everyone here just assumes I have always been here. Maybe a part of me always has.

Even though it's just to the grocery, I really like my walks. I make playlists and dance my way to the store and the subway. And I mean that literally. Even though I can't really dance, Los Angeles doesn't give a shit. Sometimes I think it even dances along with me (I don't mean that literally).

Here's a link to my city-walking playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/user/sophiaradcliff/playlist/31ElSXMNlcnYxlbbP8uxxu

(Spoiler alert)

It's lame like all of my playlists. But there's something kind of romantic about the idea of all of us walking around our respective sidewalks listening to the same thing. Even if it's lame.

 

 

 

This is Happening

Holy shit, I'm in Los Angeles for the summer.

It doesn't feel like it, mostly because I've barely left the apartment.  Or the couch.  I got hit hard with what was either food poisoning or a stomach virus.  Either way, it was gnarly.  I won't go into details, but I will say that I was very happy when I woke up this morning and could stand on my feet long enough to brush my teeth.  It was that kind of party yesterday.


I got here with a bang.  I went to Disneyland for the first time as soon as we got to California.  As much as I would like to hate on commercialism and the superficial veil of bullshit that is used to cover up real evil, I have to say... Disneyland is pretty magical. It changes you into a little kid again.  It really does.  I bought Mickey Mouse ears with my name on them.  I rode Space Mountain.  I had one of the best days of my life.  I don't know how people take children there, though.  Jesus Christ.


I say all of that, but I really do miss my kid.  She has been back east visiting my family since May, and while I'm really excited that she's having an amazing summer, I can't help but feel like part of my heart is missing.  The FaceTime calls and the photos are always nice, though.  She has been to Orlando, she's seen movies, she's met family, she's been swimming.  She's on her own adventure, just like I'm on mine.  She really is a good kid, and she deserves this vacation.


It's definitely different, living on someone's couch and not in my own apartment.  For the past year and a half, I've lived on my own (with the kid and dog, but still...), and that meant that everything was up to me- where my stuff went, when my stuff got cleaned, how my stuff got moved around.  It was hard for me to take time to relax, I'll admit, when I had dishes or laundry or a dusty bookshelf that needed cleaning.  I didn't write as much.  I didn't have time to read.  Don't get me wrong, I love my house projects.  Painting the trim or the doors of my apartment really is fun for me, and there is something really comforting about coming home to a place that looks and feels like me.  I'm sure I'll miss it a lot this summer.  But for now, all of my stuff fits in two duffel bags in the closet and one shelf in the bathroom. It's forcing me to spend time on other stuff.  Like blogging.  Or adventuring, once I am sure that I can make it down the street without vomiting. 

I start work on the 14th.  I'm scared of being broke, but that is nothing new to me after last winter.  I'm probably going to start exploring the city tomorrow.  I need to make my way to the ocean soon.  Once I get my bearings and can figure out the metro system here, that will be much easier. 

I'm trying to find my intention for this trip.  Is there anything I need to take away from it?  Or am I really just out here to escape the heat?  It's hard for me to set intentions without having expectations.  What matters in the present is that I'm feeling better than I was yesterday.  And I'm writing and reading again.  Maybe the intention will come to me, maybe it won't.  Maybe this will be an adventure for the sake of having an adventure.  And those are okay, too.

Adventure over everything