Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Deepest Ink I Have



"The atoms of our bodies are traceable to stars that manufactured them in their cores and exploded these enriched ingredients across our galaxy, billions of years ago. For this reason, we are biologically connected to every other living thing in the world. We are chemically connected to all molecules on Earth. And we are atomically connected to all atoms in the universe. We are not figuratively, but literally stardust." - Neil DeGrasse Tyson

 


I got my hands tattoooooooooooooooed.  Specifically, my knuckles.

Job killer. 

They're huge.

I generally try not to make a huge deal out of my new tattoos, but these make me so happy.  It's like they were always supposed to be there but they weren't.  And now they are.  They may battle the heart bombs on my neck for the title of "Sophie's Favorite Tattoo".  I know. 

They say STAR DUST, which is a sentiment shared by Neil DeGrasse Tyson, which is an extrapolation of a sentiment by Carl Sagan.  Science has proven to us that all of the atoms in our body: the carbon, the nitrogen, all of it, can be traced to exploding stars billions of years ago.  Light years away, the elements in our tiny yet narcissistic vessels were traveling through meteor showers and galaxies.  Now they are us.  Eventually, who knows where they will end up.  It's amazing.  It's humbling and empowering all at the same time. 

It's why I'm so enamored by outer space.  The whole idea of looking down onto our dysfunctional and dying planet, which is constantly in some state of terror and disaster and war and famine and greed and bigotry.... from up there, there is no line drawn from one area or one kind of person to another.   Even the separation of the human species to other animals is lessened.  We're all on this blue mass of rock together, and your money and your religion and your prejudices... they don't mean jack shit.  I'm not sure if hate can be felt from space, but I'm sure that a sense of  pure love and wonder and the understanding that we don't understand, it can be felt.

At the same time, we are all so small, but we are huge.  We are made up of particles that have traveled from all over to form our bodies for our short lifespans.  Our brains, which are barely able to grasp the most simple ideas regarding this giant black pond that we call our universe, are MADE UP from that same universe.  We are quite literally the universe experiencing itself. It's not fate or destiny or god or any of those things that we create to make ourselves feel important and safe.  It is what it is, and it's amazing! And it's just the tip of the iceburg.  We have so much more to learn, about our bodies, about our planet, about our solar system, our galaxy, our universe, and possible other universes! 

And now I can be reminded of that every time I look down at my hands. 

To answer your question, yes, it hurt.  Hell yes. 


I would also like to promote my tattoo artist, Tony Klett.  He is an amazing traditional artist and an allover badass human being with a great beard.  He's currently at Urban Art Tattoo in Mesa on Country Club and University Dr.  You can check out his work on Instagram: TEK9INE

Monday, June 17, 2013

Good or Bad, it's Necessary

I had a friend tell me once that "change is always good".  I like to think it's good advice.  Of course, I immediately run to the thought that nothing ALWAYS good.  But, still, I would tend to agree that more often than not, change is a good thing... or better yet, change is necessary.  It at least shakes things up and keeps you from getting bored. Besides, it's not the change that scares me, really.  It's those transitional periods that are fucking terrifying.

      I quit my job.  I know, I only have six months of school left, but it was way overdue.  The restaurant is going downhill at an exponential rate because of the new management.  It didn't help that he hated me and most everyone else there.  Probably because we are smarter than him.  It doesn't take a lot.  He finally came up with a reason to fire me, after a year of trying to pin me for shit I didn't do.  So I wrote a two-page resignation and said adios to the place I'd made a living for four years.  Crazy, right?  He also managed to fire the manager who had been there the longest.  He also put an end to any decent live music.  We are guessing that the company is keeping him there to put the cafe out of its misery.  It's a sad thing, because we all really used to like that job.

        So I got a new job.  It's another restaurant, which I was trying to avoid, but it works the easiest around school, and you can't beat the money.  The place is in Tempe, and it hasn't opened yet.  I'm supposed to start training this week, and the grand opening is scheduled for the end of June.  I have met the chef who owns it, and to be honest, it seems like a really great place.  Everyone knows what they're talking about AND they've worked in restaurants before. I know it seems like that would be a requirement for running this kind of business, but you'd be surprised. Looks hopeful so far.

                 School.  School is fucking amazing.  The school itself has its ups and downs, like anywhere, but doing hair and makeup and nails and waxing... it's my favorite thing in the world.  Honestly, I will kick myself for the rest of my life for not doing this earlier.  I adore it.  It's the only thing that I can still wake up at six o'clock in the morning for and then want to stay late.  We just did a hair show a couple of weeks ago, and I was very proud of what came out of it.  I'm trying to build up my portfolio and meet as many people as I can so that by December I will have some sort of idea where I will work.  Eventually I would like to do editorial work and possibly be a platform artist.  It's a crazy idea, but those are my favorites.

            Phoenix Comic Con was fun.  Now we are planning our yearly vacation to San Diego in July.  It's become a trip for collecting new things and meeting people we look up to for years, but now we also have friends that we only get to see during con season that we really look forward to hanging out with.   

              I quit biting my nails.  I can't promise anything, but they are long enough now to make typing weird.  I like it a lot.  I hope it lasts.

As far as being body positive, it's a process.  I am gaining weight because of the hormones I have to take, so that is an added challenge to this whole thing.  I got rid of all of my clothes that "sometimes fit" because looking at them made me feel gross.  I'm still going to zumba and yoga, and that feels good.  I did break down and weigh myself at the gym one day, and I'm angry at myself for it.  In the meantime, I am working on loving myself, feeling pretty, and I've signed on to do nude modeling for life drawing classes a few times a month.  I'll try and remember to blog and let you know how that goes. 

I'll try and remember to blog more about a lot of things.